52 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
52 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
=== ORIGINAL TEXT ===
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THE GIFT OF NOT BELONGING: HOW OUTSIDERS THRIVE INA WORLD OF JOINERS = Q
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Introduction
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How can I be of help to you?”
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“What do you think should be your treatment goals?”
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These are usually the first questions I ask when I sit down with a new patient. Most people do not have answers to these questions at the outset, which is expected. I’m not looking to get an answer but rather to emphasize that the patient is in charge of what happens next because what we are dealing with is their own life. I often say, “You are the captain, and this is your ship. I am a navigator you've hired to assist you in charting a course through a sea unfamiliar to you but familiar to me since I’ve crossed it numerous times.” No matter how that journey unfolds, my desired goal for my patients is always the same. At the end of our work together, I want them to be happy that they are who they are.
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On the surface, that might seem like a modest goal. But we humans know how difficult it is. So many of us live our lives yearning to look like someone else, to have what another has, or even to be someone else. Aspiring for something is not a problem in itself. However, since we usually aspire for something we consider better than what we have, many of us are left with a poor opinion of who we already are and the lives we already live.
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Sometimes, the yearning to be less like ourselves and more like someone else is rooted in envy, or ambition, or the genuine desire to better ourselves.
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But often, when a patient comes to me seeking transformation, further
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inspection reveals that what they truly want is to be a person who is liked and accepted: someone who fits in. They have learned that belonging is both a virtue and a goal that should be shared by all human beings, when in fact, belonging is neither: belonging is merely a feeling; it does not exist in reality as a tangible thing.
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Therein unfolds one of humanity’s great difficulties: how to manage the fact that each of us is a unique individual constantly chasing a feeling that is directly at odds with their individuality.
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In my forty-plus years as a practicing physician and psychiatrist, my interests have taken me from a remote area in the Sinai desert, where I worked as the sole physician treating nomadic Bedouin tribes, to running the schizophrenia unit at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City (from one Sinai to the other), to being appointed the medical director for operations in the New York agency that runs all aspects of mental health care in the state. I’ve taught students and residents, treated patients in the community and in academic medical centers (Mount Sinai and then Columbia Presbyterian), conducted clinical and pharmacological research, and always maintained an active private practice. All the while, I have continued to develop my original therapeutic philosophy.
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In my private practice in Manhattan I have worked with numerous people from all walks of life. Among them are world leaders, renowned performing artists, and professionals at the top of their fields. Many of them come to me seeking to understand why they feel so disconnected from the people closest and most familiar to them—friends, colleagues, and even family. Over the course of our sessions, it often emerges that they have gone through life feeling incapable of fitting in. When around others, they are always an observer but never an actual participant, and regardless of the group of
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people they are with, they never feel like they truly belong. While most
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Ra us
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=== TRANSLATED TEXT ===
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lidé, s nimiž se setkávají, mají pocit, že jsou na okraji.
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Tento pocit odcizení je pro ně zdrojem velkého utrpení. Často se snaží přizpůsobit, měnit své chování a názory, aby se
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stali součástí skupiny, ale to je obvykle vede k ještě většímu pocitu izolace. Cítí se jako podvodníci, kteří se snaží
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zapadnout do světa, který je pro ně cizí.
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V těchto chvílích se snažím pacientům ukázat, že jejich touha po přijetí a sounáležitosti je přirozená, ale že je
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důležité najít rovnováhu mezi tím, kým jsou, a tím, kým by chtěli být. Pomáhám jim pochopit, že autenticita je klíčem k
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opravdovým vztahům a že je možné být sám sebou a přitom se cítit spojeni s ostatními.
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Mnozí z mých pacientů se nakonec naučí, že být odlišný není slabost, ale dar. Učí se, že jejich jedinečnost může být
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zdrojem síly a že mohou najít komunitu, která je přijme takové, jací jsou.
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V průběhu let jsem viděl, jak se lidé mění, jak se učí přijímat sami sebe a jak nacházejí své místo ve světě. Je to
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proces, který vyžaduje čas a úsilí, ale výsledky jsou ohromující. Když se lidé naučí milovat a přijímat sami sebe,
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otevírá se jim nový svět možností a vztahů.
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Na konci naší práce společně se snažím, aby moji pacienti odcházeli s pocitem, že jsou šťastní, že jsou tím, kým jsou. A
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to je pro mě největší odměna.
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LIDÉ, SE KTERÝMI JSOU, NIKDY NEMAJÍ POCIT, ŽE OPRAVDU PATŘÍ. Zatímco většina
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